Blood Loss
by Bo Biney Boodles
Summary: It was always hardest to resist the hunger. He had almost attacked Bella, but the others were completely unfazed. Is it any surprise to anyone that Jasper would lose it? No. But when he does, is he too far gone for redemption?
1. Chapter 1

FAN FICTION

It had been a really long weekend. Edward was out hunting with his family for the whole entire weekend. So I had to stay home. My weekend consisted mostly of studying, rereading my favorite passages of "Wuthering Heights", and cooking dinner for Charlie who spent nearly all of his time watching baseball in front of the flat screen.

Jacob had still not returned any calls. I knew that his phone wasn't broken. Ever since Edward and I announced our engagement, and his plans to change me. It made Jacob sick. Things have been incredibly awkward ever since he professed his feelings for me. The Cullens have had a life long rivalry with the werewolves. But Edward still hated seeing me get so upset when Jacob never returned my calls. I had made my decision, and it was not him. He hated me for it, he hated the fact that I had an undying love for Edward that nothing could change. I knew what I wanted.

Charlie made a few awkward attempts to make small dinner time talk. He constantly inquired about what was going on with Jacob. I knew that he hated the fact that I spent nearly all of my time with Edward as opposed to Jacob. That subject was like the giant elephant in the room that we both avoided at all costs. He brought up everything besides Edward and Jacob. Our subjects varied from the weather, or the score of the Mariner's game. Each conversation fell flat and eventually led to a long awkward silence. Charlie finished his dinner, and as usual went to go sit down in front of the flat screen.

Edward was coming home that night. I looked at the clock every five minutes. Time always went by so slowly whenever he wasn't around. I lost track of time as I sat silently. The doorbell rang. I jumped up from my seat and sprinted to the door. I opened the door and instantly looked at his dazzling eyes and amazing body. He had a warm smile break across his face. I twisted my fingers into his and he came inside my house. Charlie was asleep watching TV, completely oblivious to Edward's arrival. "How was hunting? I asked "It was alright, I missed you." "Shall we?" I said as I motioned upstairs. We went upstairs into my bedroom and he saw my copy of "Wuthering Heights" and chuckled. He found it amusing that I had such a deep love for that book. He laid so on my bed, and I cuddled up next to him. My fingers were tracing up and down his chest, deeply enjoying his sweet scent. Edwards phone then vibrated and light up. It was Emmett. Edwards smile rapidly drained from his face. Something was wrong. "How are we going to hide this from the Volturi" grumbled Edward. I heard a lot of words on the other ends of the line, "Alright, you talk to Carlisle and see what he is going to do. We have to expose him to the Volturi, to prevent our whole family from being killed." Edward then hung up the phone. I didn't even have to ask what the phone call was about, Edward could tell that I was going to ask the question.

"Jasper had a serious lapse in control" Edward said with a concerned look in his eyes. " He let his thirst get the best of him and he killed someone. I would like to think that it was a total accident. Emmett said that he was with Jasper when it happened. They were walking in Seattle, and they smelled blood because someone was bleeding to death, and Jasper couldn't handle it. Emmett tried everything in his power to hold Jasper back, but failed. Before he knew it, Jasper had already sunk his teeth into the neck of the poor person. I feel so bad that Emmett has to be the one to tell Carlisle about this. This will destroy Carlisle. Bella, this is what I am. A monster. That is why I left you when I did because I knew that just because I have strong self control, does not mean that the others do. And I would rather die than hurt you or put you in danger.' "Edward", I replied " I'm scared, because Jasper did this, does this mean that the Volturi are going to punish all of you?." "No," replied Edward ," They would only punish us if we kept this a secret from them or if the rest of us lost control and started killing inconspicuously. As painful as it is going to be for all of us, we are going to have to expose Jasper to the Volturi to keep our clan safe. " I had a worried and puzzled look in my eye. "But if you approach the volturi, they could see that I am still human." "Bella," Edward replied soothingly, "My brother just broke the rules of our clan by committing one of the biggest mistakes that a vampire can make. Our goal is to remain secret and to not draw attention to ourselves. What Jasper did was very stupid, and I highly doubt that the Volturi will be focusing on the fact that your still human, rather than on Jasper." I snuggled in close to Edward, "I'm just scared" I sad. "I know you are, and I will never let anything happen to you." Replied Edward in a soothing voice. I could sense the fear and anxiety radiating from the sound of his voice. Something had to be done.


	2. Chapter 2

FAN FICTION

It had been a really long weekend. Edward was out hunting with his family for the whole entire weekend. So I had to stay home. My weekend consisted mostly of studying, rereading my favorite passages of "Wuthering Heights", and cooking dinner for Charlie who spent nearly all of his time watching baseball in front of the flat screen.

Jacob had still not returned any calls. I knew that his phone wasn't broken. Ever since Edward and I announced our engagement, and his plans to change me. It made Jacob sick. Things have been incredibly awkward ever since he professed his feelings for me. The Cullens have had a life long rivalry with the werewolves. But Edward still hated seeing me get so upset when Jacob never returned my calls. I had made my decision, and it was not him. He hated me for it, he hated the fact that I had an undying love for Edward that nothing could change. I knew what I wanted.

Charlie made a few awkward attempts to make small dinner time talk. He constantly inquired about what was going on with Jacob. I knew that he hated the fact that I spent nearly all of my time with Edward as opposed to Jacob. That subject was like the giant elephant in the room that we both avoided at all costs. He brought up everything besides Edward and Jacob. Our subjects varied from the weather, or the score of the Mariner's game. Each conversation fell flat and eventually led to a long awkward silence. Charlie finished his dinner, and as usual went to go sit down in front of the flat screen.

Edward was coming home that night. I looked at the clock every five minutes. Time always went by so slowly whenever he wasn't around. I lost track of time as I sat silently. The doorbell rang. I jumped up from my seat and sprinted to the door. I opened the door and instantly looked at his dazzling eyes and amazing body. He had a warm smile break across his face. I twisted my fingers into his and he came inside my house. Charlie was asleep watching TV, completely oblivious to Edward's arrival. "How was hunting? I asked "It was alright, I missed you." "Shall we?" I said as I motioned upstairs. We went upstairs into my bedroom and he saw my copy of "Wuthering Heights" and chuckled. He found it amusing that I had such a deep love for that book. He laid so on my bed, and I cuddled up next to him. My fingers were tracing up and down his chest, deeply enjoying his sweet scent. Edwards phone then vibrated and light up. It was Emmett. Edwards smile rapidly drained from his face. Something was wrong. "How are we going to hide this from the Volturi" grumbled Edward. I heard a lot of words on the other ends of the line, "Alright, you talk to Carlisle and see what he is going to do. We have to expose him to the Volturi, to prevent our whole family from being killed." Edward then hung up the phone. I didn't even have to ask what the phone call was about, Edward could tell that I was going to ask the question.

"Jasper had a serious lapse in control" Edward said with a concerned look in his eyes. " He let his thirst get the best of him and he killed someone. I would like to think that it was a total accident. Emmett said that he was with Jasper when it happened. They were walking in Seattle, and they smelled blood because someone was bleeding to death, and Jasper couldn't handle it. Emmett tried everything in his power to hold Jasper back, but failed. Before he knew it, Jasper had already sunk his teeth into the neck of the poor person. By the time that he had began to be able to control Jasper, Jasper had already killed over three dozen people. I feel so bad that Emmett has to be the one to tell Carlisle about this. This will destroy Carlisle. Bella, this is what I am. A monster. That is why I left you when I did because I knew that just because I have strong self control, does not mean that the others do. And I would rather die than hurt you or put you in danger.' "Edward", I replied " I'm scared, because Jasper did this, does this mean that the Volturi are going to punish all of you?." "No," replied Edward ," They would only punish us if we kept this a secret from them or if the rest of us lost control and started killing inconspicuously. As painful as it is going to be for all of us, we are going to have to expose Jasper to the Volturi to keep our clan safe. " I had a worried and puzzled look in my eye. "But if you approach the volturi, they could see that I am still human." "Bella," Edward replied soothingly, "My brother just broke the rules of our clan by committing one of the biggest mistakes that a vampire can make. Our goal is to remain secret and to not draw attention to ourselves. What Jasper did was very stupid, and I highly doubt that the Volturi will be focusing on the fact that your still human, rather than on Jasper." I snuggled in close to Edward, "I'm just scared" I sad. "I know you are, and I will never let anything happen to you." Replied Edward in a soothing voice. I could sense the fear and anxiety radiating from the sound of his voice. Something had to be done.

* * *

><p>My nightmare that night had been as real as ever. Jasper and his blood red eyes lunging towards me. I was about to scream, and then my eyes burst open, full of terror. I glanced around my room to find Edward standing in the corner of the room. His body position was very tense. I got out of bed and gave him a quick kiss and then he hugged me. My eyes burned of curiosity. "Emmett told Carlise. He refuses to talk about it He knows that there is absolutely no way to avoid having the Volturi step in. There is no denying the crime that Jasper has committed. They are demanding that he come to Italy. Carlisle is going with him. The rest of us would just un-necessary stress. If anything, my ability to read minds would do them no good. They would also search through my thoughts and find that you are still human." "Why do I feel like you are staying out of this for me?" I inquired. "Bella, I don't care about anything else besides your safety. And it's not an excuse for me to just stay home with you. It would honestly not do any good if I went with them." He then leaned down to kiss me. he then drew back and smiled. Charlie then knocked on the door. "Um Belle, I'm going out fishing with Billy." "Okay dad." He doesn't even acknowledge Edward anymore. Charlie grumbled and opened my bedroom door. Edward smiled that breathtaking smile that always knocks the breath out of me.<p>

* * *

><p>Today was the day. Carlisle had to leave for Volterra with Jasper. I was going to spend the day with only Edward that day because he said that on such a tough day, I was the only one that he wanted to spend the day with. And Charlie was working all day and then going to Billy's for dinner, which was like pouring salt on an open wound because Jacob refused to talk to me. Of course Charlie could not know the real reason as to why there was such a distance between Jacob and I. But I felt better knowing that Edward would be with me the whole day, because I knew that we belonged together. I had to spend part of the morning that morning by myself. Edward could come over at noon. I woke up early that morning, impatient and restless. I took a shower, and forced myself to eat a bowl of cereal even thought I was not hungry at all. I decided to waste time and look at pretty wedding flowers online. Alice did start to plan the wedding, but she insisted on keeping me out of it. The wedding was going to be in exactly two months. The only part of the planning that I had a hand in was the selecting of the dress. I went dress shopping with Alice and Rosalie. Although I knew that the wedding wasn't Alice's number one concern since the whole Jasper disaster. My useless internet browsing came to a halt when the door bell rang. I am not sure why I got so excited every time I saw Edward. Every time I opened the door, it was like I had never seen him before, and I could still never get used to his beauty. I felt awful when I saw the look of pain on Edward's face. Before I could even say anything, he leaned in to kiss me. I could sense his sadness and pain. I locked my hands in his hair, as he did mine. He eventually let me go and we went to my room. He laid down on my bed and I cuddled next to him. "Do you wanna talk about it? I whispered. "Not really, love. There's nothing else to say. Besides the fact that Carlisle is going to call once the Volturi have made their decision." " Is there anything I can do to get your mind off of it?." "Well," he smiled "Talking about something else would be a good start. What did you do this morning?" "I woke up early today and took a shower. And then wasted my time looking online at nice wedding flowers. I figured that I would at least do some of the work for planning the wedding because Alice has a lot else going on right now.""Bella, planning this wedding is the one joyful thing in her life right now." "Good Point."<p>

"Is there anything that we can do to get your mind off of this?" I asked. "Want to go to the meadow?" he inquired. I twisted my fingers in between his. "Let's go." Edward let me drive because he hadn't taken his car with him. He hated my old truck. He wanted to buy me a new car, but I refused. After a few tries, the car finally started. Edward sprawled himself across the blanket and I cuddled myself against him. He then leaned down to kiss me, slow and intense. He pulled away with a smile that knocks the breath out of me every time I see it. This was our place.

* * *

><p>Our happiness was destroyed that very instance. Jacob's friends had come out of the woods with panicked looks on their faces. "How's Jacob? He hasn't returned my calls" The leader, Paul stepped forward towards me. "Bella, There is something that we need to tell you." I looked to Edward with a puzzled look and then back at Paul. "Jacob died." All life drained from my face. I felt as if my knees were going to collapse from underneath me. "The reason why he didn't call you back is because, he had such a high fever. One morning he woke up with a huge headache. He got incredibly dizzy and fainted and hit his head. Billy took him to the emergency room, and they admitted him because his fever was abnormally high. he caught a nasty infection. We wanted to tell you in person." I felt Edward's arms around my waist tighten. "We're really sorry Bella." They turned around and ran away. I turned around and locked myself to Edward, refusing to ever let go of him. "I'm so sorry, love" Edward kept whispering in my ear soothingly. His shirt was getting wet from all my crying, but he just continued to hold me and tell me that he loved me and that everything was going to be okay. Edward then laid down in the grass, and I laid down in such a way that it was impossible for me to get any closer to him than I already was. "I should've been nicer to him, I must have been such a jerk." I said bitterly about myself. Edward was stroking my hair. "You couldn't have known any better, it's not at all your fault." "But it is," I protested, "I was the one who broke his heart and now I feel so damn guilty about it." Edward then leaned in to kiss me. I locked my hands in his hair. He then pulled away, and pulled me back in for a hug. I tucked my head under his neck. He was the only one who could ever make me feel better. No matter what anyone said, Edward was perfect.<p>

* * *

><p>We went to Edward's house that night because Charlie was working late anyway, and I was getting sick of my house. I told Charlie before I left that I was going to have a sleepover with Alice. That was half true. I was at the Cullen's house, but staying the night with Edward instead. I was laying on the bed next to him, resting my head on his chest, and he had his arm around me rubbing my back. "I want you to go with me to the funeral with me" I said quietly. " I got you two in the end to sort of work together, and I think that it would be good for you to go with me. It might make things better." I then buried my face into Edward's shoulder and cried. "It's okay love" he said soothingly while stroking my head. I looked up and found Edward's face to be a lot closer than I expected it would be. He leaned down to kiss me. It was slow and intense, but building at a fast pace. Just for those few minutes that I was kissing Edward, I had forgotten about the pain that I felt about Jacob. Thank god I had Edward. He made me feel strong and he was the glue that kept me together. Edward pulled away and smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him, and he was rocking me back and forth while rubbing my back. "I thought you were be relieved that at least you didn't have to be the one to kill Jake." I said quietly. "Bella, love. I wouldn't have killed Jacob even in the first place because I would never in a million years want to hurt you. Your happiness is the most important thing to me. " He said said staring into my eyes. "You're really too nice to me,"I said. "But can you please come with me to the funeral? It won't be on the reservation." I inquired. "Of course love, anything for you. " He said soothingly while his arms tightened around my waist. I then decided to call Sam to ask what time the funeral was and when. I sat on Edward's lap and leaned against his shoulder. Edward's hands went across my waist and he kept on kissing my hair and my neck while I was on the phone with Sam. "Hey Sam, it's Bella. What time and when is the funeral?, Okay, thanks. See you then." I then hung up the phone and said "The funeral is tomorrow at ten at the church in the middle of the town" I said to Edward while his face was buried in my neck, kissing me. "Okay," he looked up with a reassuring smile that promised to me that everything would be okay.<p>

* * *

><p>The funeral was that day. Edward picked me up at 9:30 and Charlie was going to meet us at the church. Edward and I got in the church and it was packed. We received a lot of angry looks as I walked in with Edward. But I clutched his hand even harder and he said that he loved me. We found Charlie and sat down next to him. Edward put his arm tightly around my shoulder. "How are you doing, love?" He whispered in my ear. "I turned my face to him and rested my head against his shoulder. "As good that I could be at a funeral, because your here.." I whispered. He then leaned down to kiss my forehead and he held me against him even tighter. The funeral music then began and the casket came down the isle. That was when I lost it. Edward wouldn't let go of me the whole service and he kept on whispering in my ear and say that he loved me. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Charlie had this serious and solemn look on his face. It was as if he didn't know how to cry. Then it was time for the memorial speeches. It was Billy's speech that really got to me. I buried my face against Edward's shoulder and was just sobbing. The service then ended and Edward and I went up to talk to Billy. " I am so incredibly sorry Billy. I know that Jacob and I had a few issues in the past, but he really was someone special." I told Billy. "Thank you Bella, that means so much. And Edward, I know that you and Jacob never got along, but it really does mean a lot to me that you showed up today. It really says something about your personality." Billy said with a sad smile. "No problem Billy. ", Edward said with a sad smile, "I wanted to offer you my sincere condolences during your time of loss." We then shook hands with Billy because he had a line of family members lining up behind us.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

FAN FICTION

It had been a really long weekend. Edward was out hunting with his family for the whole entire weekend. So I had to stay home. My weekend consisted mostly of studying, rereading my favorite passages of "Wuthering Heights", and cooking dinner for Charlie who spent nearly all of his time watching baseball in front of the flat screen.

Jacob had still not returned any calls. I knew that his phone wasn't broken. Ever since Edward and I announced our engagement, and his plans to change me. It made Jacob sick. Things have been incredibly awkward ever since he professed his feelings for me. The Cullens have had a life long rivalry with the werewolves. But Edward still hated seeing me get so upset when Jacob never returned my calls. I had made my decision, and it was not him. He hated me for it, he hated the fact that I had an undying love for Edward that nothing could change. I knew what I wanted.

Charlie made a few awkward attempts to make small dinner time talk. He constantly inquired about what was going on with Jacob. I knew that he hated the fact that I spent nearly all of my time with Edward as opposed to Jacob. That subject was like the giant elephant in the room that we both avoided at all costs. He brought up everything besides Edward and Jacob. Our subjects varied from the weather, or the score of the Mariner's game. Each conversation fell flat and eventually led to a long awkward silence. Charlie finished his dinner, and as usual went to go sit down in front of the flat screen.

Edward was coming home that night. I looked at the clock every five minutes. Time always went by so slowly whenever he wasn't around. I lost track of time as I sat silently. The doorbell rang. I jumped up from my seat and sprinted to the door. I opened the door and instantly looked at his dazzling eyes and amazing body. He had a warm smile break across his face. I twisted my fingers into his and he came inside my house. Charlie was asleep watching TV, completely oblivious to Edward's arrival. "How was hunting? I asked "It was alright, I missed you." "Shall we?" I said as I motioned upstairs. We went upstairs into my bedroom and he saw my copy of "Wuthering Heights" and chuckled. He found it amusing that I had such a deep love for that book. He laid so on my bed, and I cuddled up next to him. My fingers were tracing up and down his chest, deeply enjoying his sweet scent. Edwards phone then vibrated and light up. It was Emmett. Edwards smile rapidly drained from his face. Something was wrong. "How are we going to hide this from the Volturi" grumbled Edward. I heard a lot of words on the other ends of the line, "Alright, you talk to Carlisle and see what he is going to do. We have to expose him to the Volturi, to prevent our whole family from being killed." Edward then hung up the phone. I didn't even have to ask what the phone call was about, Edward could tell that I was going to ask the question.

"Jasper had a serious lapse in control" Edward said with a concerned look in his eyes. " He let his thirst get the best of him and he killed someone. I would like to think that it was a total accident. Emmett said that he was with Jasper when it happened. They were walking in Seattle, and they smelled blood because someone was bleeding to death, and Jasper couldn't handle it. Emmett tried everything in his power to hold Jasper back, but failed. Before he knew it, Jasper had already sunk his teeth into the neck of the poor person. By the time that he had began to be able to control Jasper, Jasper had already killed over three dozen people. I feel so bad that Emmett has to be the one to tell Carlisle about this. This will destroy Carlisle. Bella, this is what I am. A monster. That is why I left you when I did because I knew that just because I have strong self control, does not mean that the others do. And I would rather die than hurt you or put you in danger.' "Edward", I replied " I'm scared, because Jasper did this, does this mean that the Volturi are going to punish all of you?." "No," replied Edward ," They would only punish us if we kept this a secret from them or if the rest of us lost control and started killing inconspicuously. As painful as it is going to be for all of us, we are going to have to expose Jasper to the Volturi to keep our clan safe. " I had a worried and puzzled look in my eye. "But if you approach the volturi, they could see that I am still human." "Bella," Edward replied soothingly, "My brother just broke the rules of our clan by committing one of the biggest mistakes that a vampire can make. Our goal is to remain secret and to not draw attention to ourselves. What Jasper did was very stupid, and I highly doubt that the Volturi will be focusing on the fact that your still human, rather than on Jasper." I snuggled in close to Edward, "I'm just scared" I sad. "I know you are, and I will never let anything happen to you." Replied Edward in a soothing voice. I could sense the fear and anxiety radiating from the sound of his voice. Something had to be done.

* * *

><p>My nightmare that night had been as real as ever. Jasper and his blood red eyes lunging towards me. I was about to scream, and then my eyes burst open, full of terror. I glanced around my room to find Edward standing in the corner of the room. His body position was very tense. I got out of bed and gave him a quick kiss and then he hugged me. My eyes burned of curiosity. "Emmett told Carlise. He refuses to talk about it He knows that there is absolutely no way to avoid having the Volturi step in. There is no denying the crime that Jasper has committed. They are demanding that he come to Italy. Carlisle is going with him. The rest of us would just un-necessary stress. If anything, my ability to read minds would do them no good. They would also search through my thoughts and find that you are still human." "Why do I feel like you are staying out of this for me?" I inquired. "Bella, I don't care about anything else besides your safety. And it's not an excuse for me to just stay home with you. It would honestly not do any good if I went with them." He then leaned down to kiss me. he then drew back and smiled. Charlie then knocked on the door. "Um Belle, I'm going out fishing with Billy." "Okay dad." He doesn't even acknowledge Edward anymore. Charlie grumbled and opened my bedroom door. Edward smiled that breathtaking smile that always knocks the breath out of me.<p>

* * *

><p>Today was the day. Carlisle had to leave for Volterra with Jasper. I was going to spend the day with only Edward that day because he said that on such a tough day, I was the only one that he wanted to spend the day with. And Charlie was working all day and then going to Billy's for dinner, which was like pouring salt on an open wound because Jacob refused to talk to me. Of course Charlie could not know the real reason as to why there was such a distance between Jacob and I. But I felt better knowing that Edward would be with me the whole day, because I knew that we belonged together. I had to spend part of the morning that morning by myself. Edward could come over at noon. I woke up early that morning, impatient and restless. I took a shower, and forced myself to eat a bowl of cereal even thought I was not hungry at all. I decided to waste time and look at pretty wedding flowers online. Alice did start to plan the wedding, but she insisted on keeping me out of it. The wedding was going to be in exactly two months. The only part of the planning that I had a hand in was the selecting of the dress. I went dress shopping with Alice and Rosalie. Although I knew that the wedding wasn't Alice's number one concern since the whole Jasper disaster. My useless internet browsing came to a halt when the door bell rang. I am not sure why I got so excited every time I saw Edward. Every time I opened the door, it was like I had never seen him before, and I could still never get used to his beauty. I felt awful when I saw the look of pain on Edward's face. Before I could even say anything, he leaned in to kiss me. I could sense his sadness and pain. I locked my hands in his hair, as he did mine. He eventually let me go and we went to my room. He laid down on my bed and I cuddled next to him. "Do you wanna talk about it? I whispered. "Not really, love. There's nothing else to say. Besides the fact that Carlisle is going to call once the Volturi have made their decision." " Is there anything I can do to get your mind off of it?." "Well," he smiled "Talking about something else would be a good start. What did you do this morning?" "I woke up early today and took a shower. And then wasted my time looking online at nice wedding flowers. I figured that I would at least do some of the work for planning the wedding because Alice has a lot else going on right now.""Bella, planning this wedding is the one joyful thing in her life right now." "Good Point."<p>

"Is there anything that we can do to get your mind off of this?" I asked. "Want to go to the meadow?" he inquired. I twisted my fingers in between his. "Let's go." Edward let me drive because he hadn't taken his car with him. He hated my old truck. He wanted to buy me a new car, but I refused. After a few tries, the car finally started. Edward sprawled himself across the blanket and I cuddled myself against him. He then leaned down to kiss me, slow and intense. He pulled away with a smile that knocks the breath out of me every time I see it. This was our place.

* * *

><p>Our happiness was destroyed that very instance. Jacob's friends had come out of the woods with panicked looks on their faces. "How's Jacob? He hasn't returned my calls" The leader, Paul stepped forward towards me. "Bella, There is something that we need to tell you." I looked to Edward with a puzzled look and then back at Paul. "Jacob died." All life drained from my face. I felt as if my knees were going to collapse from underneath me. "The reason why he didn't call you back is because, he had such a high fever. One morning he woke up with a huge headache. He got incredibly dizzy and fainted and hit his head. Billy took him to the emergency room, and they admitted him because his fever was abnormally high. he caught a nasty infection. We wanted to tell you in person." I felt Edward's arms around my waist tighten. "We're really sorry Bella." They turned around and ran away. I turned around and locked myself to Edward, refusing to ever let go of him. "I'm so sorry, love" Edward kept whispering in my ear soothingly. His shirt was getting wet from all my crying, but he just continued to hold me and tell me that he loved me and that everything was going to be okay. Edward then laid down in the grass, and I laid down in such a way that it was impossible for me to get any closer to him than I already was. "I should've been nicer to him, I must have been such a jerk." I said bitterly about myself. Edward was stroking my hair. "You couldn't have known any better, it's not at all your fault." "But it is," I protested, "I was the one who broke his heart and now I feel so damn guilty about it." Edward then leaned in to kiss me. I locked my hands in his hair. He then pulled away, and pulled me back in for a hug. I tucked my head under his neck. He was the only one who could ever make me feel better. No matter what anyone said, Edward was perfect.<p>

* * *

><p>We went to Edward's house that night because Charlie was working late anyway, and I was getting sick of my house. I told Charlie before I left that I was going to have a sleepover with Alice. That was half true. I was at the Cullen's house, but staying the night with Edward instead. I was laying on the bed next to him, resting my head on his chest, and he had his arm around me rubbing my back. "I want you to go with me to the funeral with me" I said quietly. " I got you two in the end to sort of work together, and I think that it would be good for you to go with me. It might make things better." I then buried my face into Edward's shoulder and cried. "It's okay love" he said soothingly while stroking my head. I looked up and found Edward's face to be a lot closer than I expected it would be. He leaned down to kiss me. It was slow and intense, but building at a fast pace. Just for those few minutes that I was kissing Edward, I had forgotten about the pain that I felt about Jacob. Thank god I had Edward. He made me feel strong and he was the glue that kept me together. Edward pulled away and smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him, and he was rocking me back and forth while rubbing my back. "I thought you were be relieved that at least you didn't have to be the one to kill Jake." I said quietly. "Bella, love. I wouldn't have killed Jacob even in the first place because I would never in a million years want to hurt you. Your happiness is the most important thing to me. " He said said staring into my eyes. "You're really too nice to me,"I said. "But can you please come with me to the funeral? It won't be on the reservation." I inquired. "Of course love, anything for you. " He said soothingly while his arms tightened around my waist. I then decided to call Sam to ask what time the funeral was and when. I sat on Edward's lap and leaned against his shoulder. Edward's hands went across my waist and he kept on kissing my hair and my neck while I was on the phone with Sam. "Hey Sam, it's Bella. What time and when is the funeral?, Okay, thanks. See you then." I then hung up the phone and said "The funeral is tomorrow at ten at the church in the middle of the town" I said to Edward while his face was buried in my neck, kissing me. "Okay," he looked up with a reassuring smile that promised to me that everything would be okay.<p>

* * *

><p>The funeral was that day. Edward picked me up at 9:30 and Charlie was going to meet us at the church. Edward and I got in the church and it was packed. We received a lot of angry looks as I walked in with Edward. But I clutched his hand even harder and he said that he loved me. We found Charlie and sat down next to him. Edward put his arm tightly around my shoulder. "How are you doing, love?" He whispered in my ear. "I turned my face to him and rested my head against his shoulder. "As good that I could be at a funeral, because your here.." I whispered. He then leaned down to kiss my forehead and he held me against him even tighter. The funeral music then began and the casket came down the isle. That was when I lost it. Edward wouldn't let go of me the whole service and he kept on whispering in my ear and say that he loved me. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Charlie had this serious and solemn look on his face. It was as if he didn't know how to cry. Then it was time for the memorial speeches. It was Billy's speech that really got to me. I buried my face against Edward's shoulder and was just sobbing. The service then ended and Edward and I went up to talk to Billy. " I am so incredibly sorry Billy. I know that Jacob and I had a few issues in the past, but he really was someone special." I told Billy. "Thank you Bella, that means so much. And Edward, I know that you and Jacob never got along, but it really does mean a lot to me that you showed up today. It really says something about your personality." Billy said with a sad smile. "No problem Billy. ", Edward said with a sad smile, "I wanted to offer you my sincere condolences during your time of loss." We then shook hands with Billy because he had a line of family members lining up behind us.<p>

* * *

><p>That night Edward stayed in my room with me because I did not want to be alone. I needed him more than anything. We were lying there, cuddling on my bed when his phone buzzed. It was Carlisle. Edward answered and immediately a look came across his face that showed that he was in a lot of pain. "You couldn't convince them otherwise?" I heard Edward say into the phone. "Alright" Edward said reluctantly and closed the phone. "The Volturi did not kill Jasper. As a punishment for his actions, he has to spend the next ten years with them in Volterra." Edward informed me. "So what does that mean for Alice?" I inquired. "It means that she is going to move to Italy to be near him until he is able to leave in ten years. She has already made up her mind. She is leaving tonight." Edward replied. "Well, then we have to go say goodbye to her before she leaves," I insisted while getting up from my bed. I drove Edward to my house in my ancient orange truck that Jacob reconstructed for me. When we arrived at the Cullens, Alice was about to leave. "Alice!" I said throwing myself into a huge hug. "I'm going to miss you so much." I said sadly. "Oh, Bella, I will see you again shortly enough. Maybe I can talk the Volturi into letting Jasper home earlier. But don't worry Bella, we can always keep in touch!" She said optimistically. She gave each member of her family a goodbye hug and kiss on the cheek and she was off. I then took Edward back to my house. It was up to us to plan the wedding now. "Edward, I have been giving a lot of thought as to what we should say for our vows. I don't think it makes sense for us to say 'Til death do us part." "No, your totally right, love" Edward agreed. "We should say something that talks about us living together and being together forever. Something like, " for as long as we both shall live." Edward suggested. "No, I like it." I replied. "So the date is set, August 13th?" I asked. "Of course" Edward said with a smile that always knocked the breath out of me whenever I saw it. "You know, that amazing smile of yours always distracts me. I always lose my train of thought." I teased. "My apologies Mrs. Cullen. Just the thought that I am actually going to marry you makes me feel the happiest that I have ever felt in my whole life. Just the thought that you will be mine, and only mine forever, makes me want to burst with happiness."<p> 


	4. The Wedding

FAN FICTION

It had been a really long weekend. Edward was out hunting with his family for the whole entire weekend. So I had to stay home. My weekend consisted mostly of studying, rereading my favorite passages of "Wuthering Heights", and cooking dinner for Charlie who spent nearly all of his time watching baseball in front of the flat screen.

Jacob had still not returned any calls. I knew that his phone wasn't broken. Ever since Edward and I announced our engagement, and his plans to change me. It made Jacob sick. Things have been incredibly awkward ever since he professed his feelings for me. The Cullens have had a life long rivalry with the werewolves. But Edward still hated seeing me get so upset when Jacob never returned my calls. I had made my decision, and it was not him. He hated me for it, he hated the fact that I had an undying love for Edward that nothing could change. I knew what I wanted.

Charlie made a few awkward attempts to make small dinner time talk. He constantly inquired about what was going on with Jacob. I knew that he hated the fact that I spent nearly all of my time with Edward as opposed to Jacob. That subject was like the giant elephant in the room that we both avoided at all costs. He brought up everything besides Edward and Jacob. Our subjects varied from the weather, or the score of the Mariner's game. Each conversation fell flat and eventually led to a long awkward silence. Charlie finished his dinner, and as usual went to go sit down in front of the flat screen.

Edward was coming home that night. I looked at the clock every five minutes. Time always went by so slowly whenever he wasn't around. I lost track of time as I sat silently. The doorbell rang. I jumped up from my seat and sprinted to the door. I opened the door and instantly looked at his dazzling eyes and amazing body. He had a warm smile break across his face. I twisted my fingers into his and he came inside my house. Charlie was asleep watching TV, completely oblivious to Edward's arrival. "How was hunting? I asked "It was alright, I missed you." "Shall we?" I said as I motioned upstairs. We went upstairs into my bedroom and he saw my copy of "Wuthering Heights" and chuckled. He found it amusing that I had such a deep love for that book. He laid so on my bed, and I cuddled up next to him. My fingers were tracing up and down his chest, deeply enjoying his sweet scent. Edwards phone then vibrated and light up. It was Emmett. Edwards smile rapidly drained from his face. Something was wrong. "How are we going to hide this from the Volturi" grumbled Edward. I heard a lot of words on the other ends of the line, "Alright, you talk to Carlisle and see what he is going to do. We have to expose him to the Volturi, to prevent our whole family from being killed." Edward then hung up the phone. I didn't even have to ask what the phone call was about, Edward could tell that I was going to ask the question.

"Jasper had a serious lapse in control" Edward said with a concerned look in his eyes. " He let his thirst get the best of him and he killed someone. I would like to think that it was a total accident. Emmett said that he was with Jasper when it happened. They were walking in Seattle, and they smelled blood because someone was bleeding to death, and Jasper couldn't handle it. Emmett tried everything in his power to hold Jasper back, but failed. Before he knew it, Jasper had already sunk his teeth into the neck of the poor person. By the time that he had began to be able to control Jasper, Jasper had already killed over three dozen people. I feel so bad that Emmett has to be the one to tell Carlisle about this. This will destroy Carlisle. Bella, this is what I am. A monster. That is why I left you when I did because I knew that just because I have strong self control, does not mean that the others do. And I would rather die than hurt you or put you in danger.' "Edward", I replied " I'm scared, because Jasper did this, does this mean that the Volturi are going to punish all of you?." "No," replied Edward ," They would only punish us if we kept this a secret from them or if the rest of us lost control and started killing inconspicuously. As painful as it is going to be for all of us, we are going to have to expose Jasper to the Volturi to keep our clan safe. " I had a worried and puzzled look in my eye. "But if you approach the volturi, they could see that I am still human." "Bella," Edward replied soothingly, "My brother just broke the rules of our clan by committing one of the biggest mistakes that a vampire can make. Our goal is to remain secret and to not draw attention to ourselves. What Jasper did was very stupid, and I highly doubt that the Volturi will be focusing on the fact that your still human, rather than on Jasper." I snuggled in close to Edward, "I'm just scared" I sad. "I know you are, and I will never let anything happen to you." Replied Edward in a soothing voice. I could sense the fear and anxiety radiating from the sound of his voice. Something had to be done.

* * *

><p>My nightmare that night had been as real as ever. Jasper and his blood red eyes lunging towards me. I was about to scream, and then my eyes burst open, full of terror. I glanced around my room to find Edward standing in the corner of the room. His body position was very tense. I got out of bed and gave him a quick kiss and then he hugged me. My eyes burned of curiosity. "Emmett told Carlise. He refuses to talk about it He knows that there is absolutely no way to avoid having the Volturi step in. There is no denying the crime that Jasper has committed. They are demanding that he come to Italy. Carlisle is going with him. The rest of us would just un-necessary stress. If anything, my ability to read minds would do them no good. They would also search through my thoughts and find that you are still human." "Why do I feel like you are staying out of this for me?" I inquired. "Bella, I don't care about anything else besides your safety. And it's not an excuse for me to just stay home with you. It would honestly not do any good if I went with them." He then leaned down to kiss me. he then drew back and smiled. Charlie then knocked on the door. "Um Belle, I'm going out fishing with Billy." "Okay dad." He doesn't even acknowledge Edward anymore. Charlie grumbled and opened my bedroom door. Edward smiled that breathtaking smile that always knocks the breath out of me.<p>

* * *

><p>Today was the day. Carlisle had to leave for Volterra with Jasper. I was going to spend the day with only Edward that day because he said that on such a tough day, I was the only one that he wanted to spend the day with. And Charlie was working all day and then going to Billy's for dinner, which was like pouring salt on an open wound because Jacob refused to talk to me. Of course Charlie could not know the real reason as to why there was such a distance between Jacob and I. But I felt better knowing that Edward would be with me the whole day, because I knew that we belonged together. I had to spend part of the morning that morning by myself. Edward could come over at noon. I woke up early that morning, impatient and restless. I took a shower, and forced myself to eat a bowl of cereal even thought I was not hungry at all. I decided to waste time and look at pretty wedding flowers online. Alice did start to plan the wedding, but she insisted on keeping me out of it. The wedding was going to be in exactly two months. The only part of the planning that I had a hand in was the selecting of the dress. I went dress shopping with Alice and Rosalie. Although I knew that the wedding wasn't Alice's number one concern since the whole Jasper disaster. My useless internet browsing came to a halt when the door bell rang. I am not sure why I got so excited every time I saw Edward. Every time I opened the door, it was like I had never seen him before, and I could still never get used to his beauty. I felt awful when I saw the look of pain on Edward's face. Before I could even say anything, he leaned in to kiss me. I could sense his sadness and pain. I locked my hands in his hair, as he did mine. He eventually let me go and we went to my room. He laid down on my bed and I cuddled next to him. "Do you wanna talk about it? I whispered. "Not really, love. There's nothing else to say. Besides the fact that Carlisle is going to call once the Volturi have made their decision." " Is there anything I can do to get your mind off of it?." "Well," he smiled "Talking about something else would be a good start. What did you do this morning?" "I woke up early today and took a shower. And then wasted my time looking online at nice wedding flowers. I figured that I would at least do some of the work for planning the wedding because Alice has a lot else going on right now.""Bella, planning this wedding is the one joyful thing in her life right now." "Good Point."<p>

"Is there anything that we can do to get your mind off of this?" I asked. "Want to go to the meadow?" he inquired. I twisted my fingers in between his. "Let's go." Edward let me drive because he hadn't taken his car with him. He hated my old truck. He wanted to buy me a new car, but I refused. After a few tries, the car finally started. Edward sprawled himself across the blanket and I cuddled myself against him. He then leaned down to kiss me, slow and intense. He pulled away with a smile that knocks the breath out of me every time I see it. This was our place.

* * *

><p>Our happiness was destroyed that very instance. Jacob's friends had come out of the woods with panicked looks on their faces. "How's Jacob? He hasn't returned my calls" The leader, Paul stepped forward towards me. "Bella, There is something that we need to tell you." I looked to Edward with a puzzled look and then back at Paul. "Jacob died." All life drained from my face. I felt as if my knees were going to collapse from underneath me. "The reason why he didn't call you back is because, he had such a high fever. One morning he woke up with a huge headache. He got incredibly dizzy and fainted and hit his head. Billy took him to the emergency room, and they admitted him because his fever was abnormally high. he caught a nasty infection. We wanted to tell you in person." I felt Edward's arms around my waist tighten. "We're really sorry Bella." They turned around and ran away. I turned around and locked myself to Edward, refusing to ever let go of him. "I'm so sorry, love" Edward kept whispering in my ear soothingly. His shirt was getting wet from all my crying, but he just continued to hold me and tell me that he loved me and that everything was going to be okay. Edward then laid down in the grass, and I laid down in such a way that it was impossible for me to get any closer to him than I already was. "I should've been nicer to him, I must have been such a jerk." I said bitterly about myself. Edward was stroking my hair. "You couldn't have known any better, it's not at all your fault." "But it is," I protested, "I was the one who broke his heart and now I feel so damn guilty about it." Edward then leaned in to kiss me. I locked my hands in his hair. He then pulled away, and pulled me back in for a hug. I tucked my head under his neck. He was the only one who could ever make me feel better. No matter what anyone said, Edward was perfect.<p>

* * *

><p>We went to Edward's house that night because Charlie was working late anyway, and I was getting sick of my house. I told Charlie before I left that I was going to have a sleepover with Alice. That was half true. I was at the Cullen's house, but staying the night with Edward instead. I was laying on the bed next to him, resting my head on his chest, and he had his arm around me rubbing my back. "I want you to go with me to the funeral with me" I said quietly. " I got you two in the end to sort of work together, and I think that it would be good for you to go with me. It might make things better." I then buried my face into Edward's shoulder and cried. "It's okay love" he said soothingly while stroking my head. I looked up and found Edward's face to be a lot closer than I expected it would be. He leaned down to kiss me. It was slow and intense, but building at a fast pace. Just for those few minutes that I was kissing Edward, I had forgotten about the pain that I felt about Jacob. Thank god I had Edward. He made me feel strong and he was the glue that kept me together. Edward pulled away and smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him, and he was rocking me back and forth while rubbing my back. "I thought you were be relieved that at least you didn't have to be the one to kill Jake." I said quietly. "Bella, love. I wouldn't have killed Jacob even in the first place because I would never in a million years want to hurt you. Your happiness is the most important thing to me. " He said said staring into my eyes. "You're really too nice to me,"I said. "But can you please come with me to the funeral? It won't be on the reservation." I inquired. "Of course love, anything for you. " He said soothingly while his arms tightened around my waist. I then decided to call Sam to ask what time the funeral was and when. I sat on Edward's lap and leaned against his shoulder. Edward's hands went across my waist and he kept on kissing my hair and my neck while I was on the phone with Sam. "Hey Sam, it's Bella. What time and when is the funeral?, Okay, thanks. See you then." I then hung up the phone and said "The funeral is tomorrow at ten at the church in the middle of the town" I said to Edward while his face was buried in my neck, kissing me. "Okay," he looked up with a reassuring smile that promised to me that everything would be okay.<p>

* * *

><p>The funeral was that day. Edward picked me up at 9:30 and Charlie was going to meet us at the church. Edward and I got in the church and it was packed. We received a lot of angry looks as I walked in with Edward. But I clutched his hand even harder and he said that he loved me. We found Charlie and sat down next to him. Edward put his arm tightly around my shoulder. "How are you doing, love?" He whispered in my ear. "I turned my face to him and rested my head against his shoulder. "As good that I could be at a funeral, because your here.." I whispered. He then leaned down to kiss my forehead and he held me against him even tighter. The funeral music then began and the casket came down the isle. That was when I lost it. Edward wouldn't let go of me the whole service and he kept on whispering in my ear and say that he loved me. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Charlie had this serious and solemn look on his face. It was as if he didn't know how to cry. Then it was time for the memorial speeches. It was Billy's speech that really got to me. I buried my face against Edward's shoulder and was just sobbing. The service then ended and Edward and I went up to talk to Billy. " I am so incredibly sorry Billy. I know that Jacob and I had a few issues in the past, but he really was someone special." I told Billy. "Thank you Bella, that means so much. And Edward, I know that you and Jacob never got along, but it really does mean a lot to me that you showed up today. It really says something about your personality." Billy said with a sad smile. "No problem Billy. ", Edward said with a sad smile, "I wanted to offer you my sincere condolences during your time of loss." We then shook hands with Billy because he had a line of family members lining up behind us.<p>

* * *

><p>That night Edward stayed in my room with me because I did not want to be alone. I needed him more than anything. We were lying there, cuddling on my bed when his phone buzzed. It was Carlisle. Edward answered and immediately a look came across his face that showed that he was in a lot of pain. "You couldn't convince them otherwise?" I heard Edward say into the phone. "Alright" Edward said reluctantly and closed the phone. "The Volturi did not kill Jasper. As a punishment for his actions, he has to spend the next ten years with them in Volterra." Edward informed me. "So what does that mean for Alice?" I inquired. "It means that she is going to move to Italy to be near him until he is able to leave in ten years. She has already made up her mind. She is leaving tonight." Edward replied. "Well, then we have to go say goodbye to her before she leaves," I insisted while getting up from my bed. I drove Edward to my house in my ancient orange truck that Jacob reconstructed for me. When we arrived at the Cullens, Alice was about to leave. "Alice!" I said throwing myself into a huge hug. "I'm going to miss you so much." I said sadly. "Oh, Bella, I will see you again shortly enough. Maybe I can talk the Volturi into letting Jasper home earlier. But don't worry Bella, we can always keep in touch!" She said optimistically. She gave each member of her family a goodbye hug and kiss on the cheek and she was off. I then took Edward back to my house. It was up to us to plan the wedding now. "Edward, I have been giving a lot of thought as to what we should say for our vows. I don't think it makes sense for us to say 'Til death do us part." "No, your totally right, love" Edward agreed. "We should say something that talks about us living together and being together forever. Something like, " for as long as we both shall live." Edward suggested. "No, I like it." I replied. "So the date is set, August 13th?" I asked. "Of course" Edward said with a smile that always knocked the breath out of me whenever I saw it. "You know, that amazing smile of yours always distracts me. I always lose my train of thought." I teased. "My apologies Mrs. Cullen. Just the thought that I am actually going to marry you makes me feel the happiest that I have ever felt in my whole life. Just the thought that you will be mine, and only mine forever, makes me want to burst with happiness."<p>

* * *

><p>I honestly felt like I had no idea as to what I was doing planning this whole wedding thing without Alice. Edward and I decided that we didn't want a big ceremony or party. We wanted just our immediate family there. Esme offered us to have the small wedding reception in their backyard. She insisted on getting a tent and a small dance floor. The wedding was to take place in Edward and I's favorite spot, the meadow. It was on August 13th and the day was so beautiful. My mother and her husband Phil flew from Jacksonville, and Charlie was there. That was it for my side of the family. Edward only had his siblings and his parents. That's all we wanted. The wedding ceremony was quick and intimate, which was exactly what we wanted. My favorite part of the night was when Edward would dance with me. I clutched myself even closer to him, refusing to let go. It then came time for the father daughter dance, and the difference between Charlie's dancing and Edward's was huge. Charlie was so awkward on the dance floor. "You look really pretty today, Bells", Charlie remarked with a smile on his face. "Thanks dad," I said with a smile. The dance ended and I was back in Edward's arms. Edward then leaned down to kiss me, the kiss was slow but building. I put my arms tightly around his neck and he locked me in closer to him. Edward always had to end the kiss when he felt that things had gone a little too far. He smiled his amazing smile. It was about midnight and the party ended. The next morning, Edward and I had an early flight, although he refused to tell me where we were going. "You should get some sleep love," Edward told me. So went back to my house and Edward was there with me, holding me, for the whole night.<p> 


End file.
